Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers) Page 8

  Giving myself a mental shake, I answered, “Like a week ago?” I don’t know why it sounded more like a question than I intended.

  “Drinks later?” she asked.

  I know she was only trying to cheer me up, and I almost said no. But then again, at least I could do what Eric asked of me if I was set on making his life miserable right along with my own.

  I let out another sigh. “Sure, why not. I’ll even get the first round.”

  Tammy grinned. “Yeah, you are so generous seeing that you don’t even pay.” She rolled her eyes and laughed.

  I smiled sweetly in return. “Do you want anything? It’s on me,” I added.

  “Well, look at me now. I guess I ran into the right girl. Free alcohol and now caffeine. What did I ever do to deserve this?”

  Again her accent twanged almost every word making it sound more like “What did ay evah do ta deserve the-is?” It made me giggle.

  “You are such a southern belle,” I said with my first genuine smile of the day. “Hey, you can even invite Michael. You know you want to.” I wiggled my eyebrows up and down suggestively.

  She blushed. “I don’t know.”

  “Why not!” I exclaimed. A bit of the espresso I was making her sloshed over the rim. I dabbed the strong coffee from the side of the paper cup, slipped it into the sleeve or cozy. I could never remember what Devon called the thing. I slid the cup over to her and eyed her suspiciously.

  “Because.” She paused to blow on, and then sip, her espresso. She was stalling. Now it was her turn to sigh. “I was hoping he’d get interested in me, but now that you’re available, why would he?”

  I was shocked. Tammy was beautiful. We were both petite, but I had about 4 inches on her, and she didn’t have my curves but she was still can’t-look-away gorgeous. “Tam, I am not available. Ever. Besides, lady, there is no competition. A guy would be insane to pick me over you on looks alone. Now, with my stellar personality, maybe.” I winked, and she busted up laughing. Okay, so maybe I’d never win miss congeniality.

  “Invite him. I promise to not ditch you two tonight unless—” I paused to smile slyly. “You give me the get-the-heck-outta-here-we-need-privacy sign.”

  “Okay, deal. See you at seven?”

  I nodded my agreement as she headed away.

  “Thanks for the caffeine.” She wiggled her fingers in a girlish wave and let the door close behind her.

  At seven, I slid into the booth across from Tammy. She had a glass in front of her. I raised a brow at her.

  “Couldn’t wait?” I teased.

  She slumped.

  “Okay, spill. What’s up? Where’s Michael?”

  “He didn’t want to come. I mentioned you, and he said, ‘No way.’”

  “What the hell? I even tried apologizing to the guy, Tam! I know I lack people skills, especially with guys, but I generally make up for it because I am good—no, great—in bed. I am not planning to sleep with him. Calm down. I’m just saying I have done everything sans bedding him to apologize. And, honestly, come on, was I really that bad?” I finished my rambling rant by eyeing her expectantly.

  She shrugged and tilted her head. “Well—”

  “Oh balls!” I received a few amused looks from neighboring tables. I need a drink. I waved my hand to the waitress to get her attention. She walked over and I told her my order.

  A few drinks later, I was thoroughly drunk and so was Tammy. The bar crowd had thinned, and we had the jukebox to ourselves. Tammy was playing tonky country music and she was twanging along with them. When Cindy Robert’s “Never Loved a Boy Like You” came on, my mood significantly dropped.

  “All right, girl, tell me about this invisible guy who seems to have snuck into the room without me seeing.”

  “Am I that transparent?” I guess my face dropped along with my mood.

  “Yeah, so tell me about this guy.”

  “Okay, he is completely inappropriate for me and I am completely in love with him. He is the most sincere guy I have ever met, besides my first love,” I finished with a whisper.

  “Is he the first, since this first love? Which I assume ended tragically.” Tammy took a sip of her beer.

  “Hell no. I went through a mourning stage. That stage included letting guys ply me with drinks and bedding them. But their touch seemed to be like a ghost’s. They didn’t feel real, but this guy, my gosh, his feels like the realest touches I have felt in my life. Tammy, it’s like his hands are the hands that made me. They know every inch of me and know how each inch of me likes to be touched! And his body, heck, his stomach alone, makes me wish it were a plate just so I could lick it clean!”

  Tammy’s eyes widened. “So why did it end?”

  “I had to. He didn’t want to, but I had to.” I lowered my gaze, remembering Valience’s warning all too clearly.

  “Does it have to do with your first boyfriend, the guy who owns the bar?” she timidly asked.

  “Owned,” I corrected in a whisper. I looked around. This was reaching the point where I call foul and haul ass out of the room. “He’s dead.”

  “I am so sorry,” she gushed, but I held up my hand to stop her.

  “They are all dead. Dante, the random guys after him. They are all . . . dead.”

  I could feel her stare beaconing into my skin. I didn’t look up right away. I had no idea what else to say. How could I explain all the death in my life? What if she thought I was a killer? I didn’t know how to begin to explain it all, or even just a fraction, without the next thing being and you could be the next to die. That would freak her out. She may even think that I was threatening to do her in. We were both at a loss for words so we just sat there.

  I groaned and finally looked up. I saw her unshed tears and pity practically oozed from her. I was used to those looks—the pity and the fear. Devon said I was being paranoid and nobody truly feared me, but why wouldn’t they? Everyone who I allowed near me died. I know that I am a memory keeper but, still, it looked bad, right? Was I paranoid?

  “You poor thing! Dante died. Your first love died?” she asked in one breath.

  I nodded. “Right out back in the alley. He was attacked. It’s a long story, but, yes, Dante died.”

  “Here? Outside this bar? Were you with him?” Her eyes were wide and wet with tears. I held mine back and tried to hold my emotions from my words as well.

  “I was at home. I was waiting for him to come over after he closed the bar. Instead I got Devon, on my doorstep.” I swallowed back the lump that was threatening to choke me and hoped she didn’t notice.

  “Dante laid in that alley alone fighting for his life, while he bled to death.”

  “And you are sitting here? Dear God! You should have said something when I brought this place up! Shit!”

  “I don’t generally bring up the worst moment of my life with strangers, no offense. The only way to explain why I never stepped foot in the place would be telling.”

  Her hand slapped her forehead. “Oh no. Oh-NO! That explains the first night we came here. Oh god, I am such a jerk. Here we thought you were acting rude and strange, but you were working through fucking demons while we bitched and moaned behind your back. I am an ass wipe!” She seemed utterly disgusted with herself.

  “Wait, you two were talking shit about me behind my back?” I asked.

  Her eyes got even wider. “OH! I hate myself.”

  I laughed. “Calm down, girl. For all you knew I was just being a bitch, which I was. Michael has every right to be mad. I held you both at arms distance from the start. I was rude and cold. I deliberately tried to push you two away. Whatever you said about me, I am sure it was deserved.”

  Her head bobbed in disagreement. “No. I knew there was a story. The way the bouncers mentioned not seeing you in yea
rs. The way the waitresses tiptoed around you. When we asked if they seen where you went they seemed saddened. They acted like we had two heads each when we asked why you would, as they told us, ‘most likely be in the back room taking time.’”

  I waved my hand, motioning that we needed to just let this go. “It’s fine. But this is ruining my buzz, and I’d hate to have to start over. Let’s get another round, and I should make you actually pay this time as your penance for talking about me behind my back. I will re-apologize to Michael tomorrow. You will not say a thing about this to him, either. Is that clear?”

  She nodded as I motioned for another round of beer.

  I was walking my drunken self home after getting the equally intoxicated Tammy into a cab. I was not all that happy about returning home to a lonely apartment. No offense to Big Jim, but he couldn’t do what Eric and I had done the last time I made this walk home.

  “You have surprised me. I did not think you had it in you to actually go through with it and do what you are doing. One of the few times humanity surprises me. I just knew that I was going to have to handle you myself.”

  I turned in the direction the voice was coming from. Valience, my personal archenemy. Exactly who I didn’t want to run into when I was drunk and emotionally raw. I huffed.

  “Disappointed?” I sneered before I continued. “What, I get rid of one stalker just to acquire another? Is that what this was about? You wanted Eric out of the way? You in love with me, V? I could have saved you the trouble if you would have just come out with it. You aren’t my type. I don’t do the evil sons of bitches thing,” I taunted him. I know it probably wasn’t the best idea, but I hated this guy and I was swimming in alcohol motivation.

  The look on his face was 100% pure and untainted, undisguised disgust. “That would be the equivalent of you falling in love with a cockroach or the lowest of vermin. For me to have any remote attraction for-”

  “Hey! We vermin have things called feelings.”

  “Don’t take offense. It is your species in its entirety I have issue with, not just you in particular.”

  I rolled my eyes. Yeah, no offense there. Not only am I compared to a roach, but my entire species is, too. “What do you want? I am hoping you aren’t bothering me just to insult me and lower my self-worth?”

  “You are drunk. Can you comprehend in this state?” He paused, then asked as if on a curious whim, “Why do humans do idiotic things with the gift the 3-in-1 has given? You ruin your liver with what you have been partaking in tonight. You make it painfully obvious that you can’t begin to understand the complexity of what God has designed of your body and its detailed workings.”

  I was too drunk for this conversation. I shrugged and petulantly said, “So what? My life, my liver.”

  “So you are slowly killing yourself because you cannot have Ectain Edeck?”

  I turned from him. “Fuck off.” I started to walk away. He had some nerve. I was not some incoherent drunk in the gutter, and so what if I was! He came to me in my current state. I didn’t come to him. If he didn’t condone my behavior, he could go screw himself. I whirled back around, thoroughly enraged.

  “You have some nerve, you know! First you threaten me into doing what you want, yet here you are again to insult me. Okay, so what if I am the drunken equivalent of a pest to you? Then just go away. Leave me the hell alone.”

  “Don’t be so lovelorn.” “Do you find my pain funny?”

  “I find you amusing, yes. Humans are so fickle. I can’t see what Ectain sees in you. What does he see that would make him risk it all? Is it merely what you have between your legs? Every female species has what you have there, from donkeys to dogs.”

  Did he just call me a jackass and a bitch? “I should just kill you and end the threat.”

  I saw true evil on his face. He was indifferent to if something lived or died. He held no value for life, especially human life.

  “I am still not afraid of you. You can do your worst. Call down plague and famine on me. Hell, I’m sure you have ways I can’t even imagine to hurt me. Do it! I. Still. Won’t. Die.”

  He took this as a challenge and narrowed his eyes while taking a menacing step in my direction. My name left his mouth ripping through me like a knife. My soul tore from me, not feeling anything like Eric’s pull. The Butcher. My eyes fluttered closed. Maybe I was wrong. What if I could die? What if this was the long awaited moment? This was it.

  I took a breath, possibly my very last. My eyes flew open as the weight of my soul slammed back in place inside me. I gasped for air, trying to reorient myself. I managed to lock on to Valience’s eyes in defiance.

  My heart raced with fear, triumph, and disappointment. Valience’s piercing blue eyes were mere slits as he studied me.

  I turned slowly and walked away feeling defeated, even though I had, in fact, come out on top of this confusing confrontation.

  “Mayne,” he called after me. “There are worse things to be done to you than death.”

  Chapter 9

  I woke with a start. I had to fight awake. I no longer felt the warm embrace of being rescued from my sleep. I had to make a clawing escape to the waking world. Eric was truly gone. He wasn’t my stalker anymore. My heart was collapsing in on itself. I brought my knees up to my chest as I curled into the fetal position and cried.

  I now knew what true hatred felt like. I truly hated Valience, but I hated myself more for doing this to us, for allowing Valience to come between us. If I wasn’t so weak and willing to take a little risk, but no. I would not risk Eric in a battle that I could not win. I only wondered if Eric was feeling like I was: that this was hell. Worse, hell was for the dead, but I was living. No one had done this to me either. I did it to myself. No, Valience did this. He gave me no choice. He threatened Eric and I would never again let a man I love suffer. I would be strong, even when it did feel like I was decaying inside. When it felt like everything was shriveling up and rotting, I would remember why. I would remember the reason I was suffering. This, and the fact that Eric was all right would carry me through this life. This lonely life I was living had a purpose.

  For Eric, I would allow Tammy, Michael, and whoever else into my life and lose them to Death’s list. I will do it and do it for as long as I had to. Death was a greedy bastard—a glutton—but I would do my duty as a memory keeper so Eric wouldn’t have to hesitate in his. It was time I stopped running. I had to live and I had to remember.

  I dragged myself out of bed and gathered my strength. I had to do this not for myself, but for the fact that I was in love with Eric. He did what I asked when I told him to leave and make it easy on me, so I would do this for him in return to make his job easier on him. As odd as it seemed, Valience’s threats made it easier.

  I pulled myself together as I showered. I did my hair, taking the time to straighten it. I did the extra effort to at least look together. And when normally I’d throw on clothing, today I decided to wear an outfit. I was an image of my old self. From the outside looking in I appeared I had finally recovered. I hoped I did, at least.

  I walked through the Lunge Lounge doors on time. Devon looked up briefly and then returned to what he was doing. I watched him freeze and then jerk his eyes back in my direction. I felt self-conscious.

  “Hey,” I shyly offered.

  “You feeling okay this morning?” He cocked his head at me like I had two heads.

  “Why? Don’t I look okay?” I tugged nervously on the bottom of my form-fitting, button-up blouse. I thought I looked the best I have in weeks, if not years.

  “Yeah, you look awesome. What’s up? Do we need to talk about this?”

  I laughed. “Let’s work.”

  The entire first half of the day, I kept taking quick peeks at the clock on the wall. I was waiting for noon to roll around and for Michael to walk through the door
. I called him this morning when Devon finally stopped gawking at me like I was a pod person who was going to birth my minions at any second. He finally went into the office to do some more paperwork, and I was able to use the phone without his eavesdropping in on my half of the conversation.

  Michael seemed a little hesitant, but willing enough that he had agreed to meet me here. Now I think I should have had him meet me somewhere else. Anywhere besides here where Devon would no doubt be hovering. I already knew he’d get the wrong idea. I found myself wondering if Eric would also get the wrong idea. But then I reminded myself that Eric was really gone. He was not hanging around any longer. I tried not to whimper as I mixed a small Espresso Macchiato. I’m pretty sure customers didn’t want a weeping girl making up their morning caffeine fix.

  I handed the lady in the twill skirt set the hot paper mug. “Can I get you anything else?” Praying she’d say no.

  The woman grumbled her answer, taking a few napkins she retreated to a table.

  The routine repeated for the next few hours. The only thing different was the drinks. Caffe Mocha, Espresso Con Panna, Mocha Valencia, or any other variety of Latte, Espresso, and Cappuccino. I developed a love for customers who just wanted their coffee regular! Bless them. Who needs all that frilly shit anyway? I take my coffee black every day of the week. It’s straight to the point, no dicking around.

  The pre-lunch lull had began. Wednesdays are the slowest day of the week so mornings were a solo shift. Working this shift had its benefits. I mean, yes it was a drag having to cashier and make the drink, not to mention making those damn biscotti. But it also meant I got to have my lunch during the busiest time of the day. You get the lunch rush off. When Devon asks me do the solo shift, I never turn it down. Maybe we’d be so busy that no one would notice me with Michael. Or maybe he’d come early when we had no customers and my co-workers and boss had nothing better to do but watch us.