Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers) Read online

  Jim did his body wag, where his tail wags but so does everything else.

  I rolled my eyes as I plopped down on the foot of the bed.

  Eric raised his head. “Do you want to go get something to eat? You are hungry, right?”

  “Do you eat?”

  He laughed, and I realized that I liked the sound. I was really beginning to annoy myself.

  “Yes, I eat. Let’s go out. My treat.”

  “My two favorite words. Wait, you have money too?”

  This time his laughter was unrestrained. “Well, my job sucks but it does have its benefits.” He kissed Jim on top of his head. “Are you ready?”

  I considered his invitation. I shouldn’t want to go anywhere with him. I knew I should be on guard around him, he was planning to take from me again, but there was something about him that called to me, drew me to him. A vague feeling of familiarity and comfort, something that told me I knew him and to trust him. Maybe it was because he’d been stalking me, whatever. The point was, I was hungry and he was buying, so . . . What the hell?

  We sat at the outside eating area of a small Indian restaurant with the sun shining down on us. I think he wanted privacy. Our food arrived and he kept looking down at his samosa. He appeared deep in thought and I didn’t want to interrupt. Besides, it gave me a chance to study his sharp features.

  Everything about him was beautiful. With his head down, his dark curly hair fell forward across his face. I had this insane urge to reach out and brush it away, even though the gesture seemed way too intimate. I almost did it anyway. My hand reached out, but then he sighed and I caught myself, pulling my hand back.

  “I am trying to figure out where to start. You must think I am a monster.”

  I didn’t answer him. I knew I should hate him for the pain I’ve felt, and a part of me did, but looking at him now, that hatred wouldn’t surface.

  “I understand if you despise me. It seems so unfair—what you are and who I am. I haven’t always had this duty, but I understand better than all of us. The point of it all, the self-sacrifice when everyone else practiced indulgence. This is my reward!” He gestured with his arms open wide in exasperation. “But I get it. Without what I do, nobody, NO ONE, would cherish anyone. No one would make the best of the time they are given, when it’s given. There would be no need for children or sex. When nobody dies, who needs birth? Do you get what I’m saying?” His eyes met mine, burning a hole to my soul.

  I did get it. I was surprised I understood, but—

  “What about those who keep losing to the point of ‘What’s the point?’” I couldn’t hold his gaze any longer.

  “Part of the grand design,” he stared, sounding pissed and full of sarcasm, “is that no one on earth will leave without passing along something from his life. It will be passed down forever. So they are really always there through family and loved ones. The memories fade but they are never forgotten.”

  “What if someone has no one? No family or no one who cares about them, what happens to them?”

  His expression grew intense once more. “You care. And people like you. Memory Keepers. That’s where Memory Keepers come in. That is why you all were created and that is the reason you are here.”

  “Memory Keepers?”

  He nodded. “You are the ones who collect people, so to speak.”

  “Why do you keep including me with these people?”

  “Do you remember two months before your 17th birthday?”

  I froze. That was a month and a half after Dante’s death. It had all gotten to be too much. The persistent sadness, pain, and bombardment of the memories we had shared. All of my firsts were with Dante, and he was gone.

  “That was the night I tried, and failed, to kill myself,” I reluctantly admitted. I would always be ashamed at how I’d crumbled under the loss of Dante.

  He disagreed. “You didn’t fail.”

  “I’m not a ghost here. So yeah, obviously I did.”

  “I called you. I kneeled beside you and put my mouth to your ear.” As he spoke, I could feel the heat of his breath as if he were beside me now, speaking into my ear.

  “I called you, Mayne St LeClair.”

  When he spoke my name, something in me rose up. I was free. Unrestrained. Free. Not even my body held me. Without warning, a jolt slammed me back down. My eyes widened.

  “You died, but your duty caught you and you were not able to come. You woke and—”

  My eyes snapped open, I took a breath, and I was looking into his eyes. “I saw you. I thought I was in Heaven.”

  He saddened. “You thought I was Dante.”

  I nodded and repeated my previous statement. “I thought I was in Heaven! Then I saw your eyes. They weren’t the pale sea-foam green I expected. They were your eyes, but not the honey they are now. They were a rich amber color.”

  “You called me his name. You said it with such devotion. I told myself that one day I would hear my name come from your lips like that.”

  I froze. I realized what he was telling me. Did he in some way care about me, love me? Is that why he had been stalking me all this time? After all he has taken from me, did it even matter how he felt? For some reason that I did not want to explain even to myself, it did matter. As much as I didn’t want to, I did care. I murmured to myself, unaware of what I was saying. “Vengeance is mine, Sayeth the Lord.”

  He eyed me with renewed attention. “Yes?”

  “Oh nothing. Just something that came into my mind.”

  He appeared hopeful. “Something you read?”

  “The Bible?” I answered.

  “Look at me.” Something in his voice compelled me and drew me in. My eyes focused on him without thought. My breath caught. I read it on his face, on his tattoos. Vengeance is mine Sayeth the Lord. He knew I saw it.

  He nodded. “And thus I am.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s Angelican. Ectain Edeck means ‘Vengeance is mine, Sayeth the Lord.’ And thus, I am His, so I do His will above my own. I took your parents, your brother, Devon’s brother, your friends, boyfriends, people who would not be remembered and passed on but through you. You remember them. Every. Single. One.”

  “And now you’ve come for Devon?” My voice was slow and flat to match his.

  “I told you I just saw your name, the Keeper. Our list is broken up into categories, grouped by who the keeper is. The name I am to call doesn’t appear until just before.”

  “Devon is all I know.” My voice was soft, a mere whisper.

  The fury that flashed in his eyes came as a surprise. “Only because you refuse to do your job. I do mine, start doing yours.” He slapped his hand down on the table, his fork clanked against the plate.

  I was taken aback. “Oh, like you have the hard part. Mister, ‘all I have to do is kill people I’ve never met and will never see again.’ You see these people one time and move on! I know these people! I will remember them for the rest of my life! I’m not even able to escape in my sleep because guess what? I don’t dream. I relive all those memories. Not remember, but relive them—one after another after another, back to back to back until I’ve been through them all. And, oh god, don’t let me sleep in or it starts all over. Then I wake up and they’re gone. I have to deal with losing them all over again. Everyday I’m left to mourn them like it’s new. Every single morning of every single day.

  “At night my parents are tucking me in before they head out to a party. Every night, I am told they won’t be coming home. I am laughing with my brother. We’re hiding in the dark closet from our foster dad, and I’m coming home to find he is gone too. I am lying in the arms of a lover—that’s when I can no longer take it—and . . .” I let my voice trail off.

  He spoke. “That’s when you can no long
er take it and I call your name just to wake you.”

  I inhaled sharply, in shock. So that was real. I always hear my name being called and a feeling of being released into freedom before I am slammed back down into my body, awake. It was Eric’s voice that sounds like my name is caressing his lips. It was always just a whisper. And always just enough to wake me. I took a deep breath to calm myself and made myself continue. “Yes, so please excuse me if I push everyone away so I don’t have to add their deaths to my count.”

  “Does it really matter? You are missing out on your sister’s and her kids’ lives, the joys and all those things that come with letting people get to know you.”

  “I am saving them!”

  “Saving them from what? You aren’t cursed. That’s not how it works. If it were, why Devon? You keep him around. Why?” His voice had a hint of bitterness that I almost missed.

  “He . . . he has lost enough because of me. We are all that’s left. So if you expect me to be okay with losing him because it’s my so-called duty then you don’t know me at all. I will never be okay with it. I get what you are telling me. I really do. In theory. I get it, everybody has to die. That doesn’t mean I want to be sitting across from the person who is responsible for ruining my life on numerous occasions. You were right, I do think you are a monster.” My voice faltered with emotion, ending in a whisper. I stood up from my chair, knocking it into the person sitting behind me.

  “I-I’m sorry.” I murmured my apology.

  Eric started to stand.

  “Please. Don’t. Don’t follow me.”

  He froze briefly, his eyes sad. My traitorous heart almost relented. He nodded once. I hurried away from Eric as fast as I could. Away from his warm, fluid, yellow eyes and warmer calming voice that caused conflicting turmoil inside me. I told myself not to look back but once I got to the door and far enough away from him, I did. Right into his burgundy eyes.

  Chapter 3

  He started to turn from me. “Mayne.” His voice was strained and I had to struggle to hear him, but still it was the most calming sound I’ve ever heard. “I need you to get out of here.”

  I rushed back toward the table. “Is someone going to die?” I whispered, trying to get him to face me. Someone behind me coughed before he could answer.

  I turned around just as all hell broke loose. People at a nearby table were frantic and one of the women called for help. I jerked my head back toward Eric. He was breathing deeply with his eyes closed, still trying to ignore me.

  “No,” I whispered. I nudged Eric away as I ran over to the table. People crowded around the now gasping man. It was so crowded around him that I had to push my way through.

  “Here. Let me help.” I began moving chairs out of the way. “Lay him down here,” I told his tablemates. “Is it a heart attack?”

  The woman closest to me answered. “Asthma.”

  “Everybody, I need for you all to step back. Give him some room, please. And somebody call an ambulance.” I took a breath. Shit. I was in over my head.

  “Is there a doctor, nurse, or anyone here that can help?”

  No one answered. Great, how come in movies there is always a well-certified bystander, but this poor guy gets me and my lunch date, Death himself.

  I kneeled beside the wheezing man. “Sir, this sounds silly but I need you to try and stay as calm as possible. Concentrate on your next breath. Focus. Listen to me. 1,2,3, breathe in. 3,2,1, let it out.” I rubbed his arm in what I hoped was comfort. “That’s it. You are doing just perfect. Breathe in. 3,2,1, let it out.”

  I felt Eric squat behind me. “I can’t . . . I can’t do this with you here. Just go. Please.”

  “Hell no. You can’t have him.”

  “Mayne—”

  “Did you know?” I asked harshly. It was more of an accusation than a question.

  “What?” Eric asked, sounding hurt.

  “Did you choose this place because of him?”

  Eric stood up. “Pau—”

  I quickly cut him off, whispering forcefully in the dying man’s ear. “Focus on me. Nobody else. 1,2,3, breathe.”

  The ambulance pulled up right then and paramedics rushed to us to take over. I retreated, visibly shaken, as the paramedics did their job. Eric was nowhere to be found. I suspected he was pissed at me. I didn’t like it, but what was I supposed to do?

  I was still shaken by the time I got home. Even stopping at the store to get food for dinner hadn’t helped. I had so many feelings boiling inside of me. Anger, the most dominant. I had lost so much and now to learn that I would lose more? Not only that but it was my Heaven-given job? Where could I turn in my two weeks’ notice? Eric trying to guilt me into doing the job like I had an actual choice made my rage almost unbearable. I hadn’t asked for this, I hadn’t been asked, and I didn’t want it! A scream built in my chest.

  I liked Eric almost as much as I needed to hate him. Damn it.

  I decided to call my sister for nothing more than a distraction.

  “Signeey residence.”

  When I heard Becca’s chipper voice and the high-pitched squeal of little girls in the background, I smiled.

  “Hey, how are you and the family?”

  “Well if it isn’t my sister, what was her name? Miami? Mississippi? Oh, I can’t remember.”

  “Very funny. I almost forgot to laugh. Ha Ha.”

  “We’re good. They miss you.”

  “I miss them, too. I think of them all the time. Granted, it’s hard not to when every time my phone rings I hear the ringtone they set up.”

  Becca laughed. “What did they give you? Wow, wow, wubzy?”

  “Worse, The Wonder Pets.”

  “Lucky. I got Yo Gabba, Gabba!”

  I laughed. “Remind me to thank Aurora and Anya for mine! I guess they do love me.”

  “They miss you, too”

  “Don’t start. I love you, them, too. But I’m trying to protect everyone.”

  “Oh yes, from your death curse,” she mocked.

  “I almost had a guy die right before my eyes today.”

  “Oh. Are you okay? Dumb question, of course you aren’t okay.”

  “I’m good. I just called to check in. Give everyone my love.”

  “Wait. You didn’t call just to chitchat so don’t just try and hang up. What’s up?”

  “Have you ever met someone who makes you feel torn in two? Someone you have every reason to hate because he’s done horrible things but some part of you won’t hate him.”

  “Oh, this sounds like a baby daddy situation. Did he knock you up? Babies: the gift from sex that keeps on giving.”

  “Pretty sure that is herpes.”

  “Ewl, did the bastard give you herpes? Yeah, hate him!”

  “Come on, I’m being serious! Could you ever forgive a man who you blame for every single thing wrong in your life?”

  I could pretty much see Becca nibbling on her bottom lip in thought before she finally responded. “That depends, M-state, is he really the cause or is he just convenient to blame?”

  “He isn’t convenient to blame. I wish I didn’t.” Oh how I wish. In any other circumstance I would probably really like him. He was kind and not to mention sinfully sexy. Despite the confusion inside of me I had to admit to myself that more than a little part of me wanted to see him again. The small rational part of me found it disgusting.

  “What’s going on?”

  I sighed. “There is this guy who has possibly the worst job ever. A job that hurts people—”

  “Cut and run.”

  “He wants me to— I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

  “No it isn’t. If he hurts you once, it’s never going to change. Cut and run.”

  “You’re right.
God, I know you’re right.”

  “Then why are you arguing this?”

  “Rebecca, This guy is so different than his job. He is nothing like it. He is actually kind and endearing and—”

  “Except when he’s hurting people? Mayne, they’re always kind. That’s how bad people work. Charm on the outside, snake on the inside. A tree shall be known by the fruit it bears.”

  “Did you just quote New Testaments?”

  “Yes. I think you needed a little Jesus to knock sense into you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Rebecca was right, the non-idiot part of me was right, but all I kept thinking of was his calming voice. Everything about him seemed to soothe.

  “I get it. If it’s a problem now, it’s only going to get bigger, not disappear.”

  “Exactly. Damn, you have the worst taste in guys, I think, ever in history of the world!”

  After a few more jokes at my expense, we hung up. Although talking to my sister helped a lot, I was still pretty shaken about what Eric told me and about the guy who almost died in my arms. I had no way of knowing if that poor man died and whether Eric took him or not.

  Tired of thinking about Eric, memory keeping, angels of death, and how damn sexy the person who ruined my life was, I started to prepare dinner. I rarely actually cook anymore. I usually just settle for chips and a soda but that would leave me with too much time to think. Thinking was the last thing I wanted to do.

  I checked the movie in my queue for tonight. City of Angels. Well, crap. Butterflies filled my stomach at the thought of Eric, and then something fluttered a little lower. Oh god, this wasn’t good. This could only lead to disaster. I pointed my finger in scolding as I looked down at myself.

  “Now you cut that out, there will be none of that.” I went back to cooking.

  The chopped vegetables were in the wok with the chicken as I put the water on to boil for the rice. I heard a knock at the door. Assuming it would be Devon, I was ready to bitch about how shitty my day was.